Well here I am again. I'm back to the point where I find myself incapable of putting any amount of trust in another person. This place has actually become a rather familiar one though. Of course, the scenery is slightly different, but for the main part it still resembles what I can recall from previous escapades here.My actions and thoughts have been so hypocritical of themselves lately. How can a man put all of his effort into trying to stand out and then feel sorry himself because he never seems to fit in with his surroundings? It absolutely blows my mind. Do I really want to genuinely be different from everyone or is it that I've become so used to conforming that I don't know how to handle being different yet. This is one of the many issues that has been bothering me lately. If I took the time to discuss all of the issues that have been troubling me then this would no longer be a blog; it would be an online novel.
I do want to vent about one more matter that has been bothering me lately though. I legitimately am more infatuated with someone right now than I have been in ages if not ever. Now here comes the bothersome part. This person won't even give me the time of day. In my opinion, if I didn't harass her with my non-stop bombardments of texts then I would probably never cross her mind period. I've ruined things so many times with her that now I really feel there is no possible way for me to make things better this time. Ever since I realized this, I've been asking myself a question. Would I rather go through all of this crap and end up with her eventually or would I rather be completely over her right now and have no physical or emotional attachment. I argue back and forth with myself numerous times but I always end up believing that she would be worth every single bit of the struggle. I believe the highs she would bless me with would easily outweigh all of the hardships. But it doesn't matter a single bit what I say or believe. That's the part I hate. I just wish she would see how much she means to me. Andddd I realize I'm rambling so I'm going to wrap this up. See ya soon.
